Calling the Boxers of the WVBA! Calling the Boxers of the WVBA! This is Keoni Stevens from Hippo Island, and we need your help! *Crashing noises are heard in the background* I only hope this message reaches you! Our king has tossed aside this laptop, and it may be our only chance to call for help!
Our king has gone mad! One day a mysterious package arrived for him, and caused him a sense of visible worry. He locked himself away from matters of state for a few days and now... he has returned from his seclusion, and he's turned into a tyrant!
King Hippo has re-activated the Hippo Island Military Force, banned since the treaties of years ago! Already he's launched expeditions against Rhino Island, and Aardvark Island is throwing down their arms in advance of the wave of our attacking forces, likely to become a vassal state! The arts and agriculture are ruined! Goat and gazelle, once plentiful, are now rationed! The people who used to dwell in the land of a generous and kind lord are now oppressed and ignored!
The King himself... oh but it is too terrible to speak of it on the internet! Too terrible! I cannot bear to see his fall from the grace of the Lava Gods, surely it- wait, what's that? *Crashing Noises* NO! He has found me! Oh, his guards are approaching... NO IT IS HIM! Oh Lava Gods protect me! I only do what is right for my liege! Must run away, fast, but I have to... finish... blog post... on... interne